So why is your kid not eating at mealtime? Let's troubleshoot:
1. He's not hungry
2. He's sick
3. He's tired/has no appetite
4. He's distracted
5. He's being rebellious
6. He doesn't like what his parent is serving him
7. other (you'll have to comment if you can think of another broad category)
1. Not Huungry
Why isn't he hungry? Did he just eat? Some kids may need snacks between meals but try to keep them about 2 hours before main meals. If he is still not hungry, then maybe these snacks are too big or are unnecessary. What about a sippy cup--does he carry around a sippy cup full of milk/juice all day long? If so, try limiting drinks to meal/snack time. If he gets thirsty between those times, have him sit at the table to take a drink so that he can distinguish between need and habit. Of course, if he's playing outside in the hot sun, make sure he is well hydrated!
On another note, avoid making your child eat all of the food on his plate or saying he can have dessert if he eats all his food (Forcing/bribing children to eat is a good way to teach a bad habit of overeating). If you are going to have dessert at the end of a meal, offer it to the child regardless of what they ate at dinner, just give them one small portion.
If he is just not hungry, don't push it. Forcing him to eat when he is not hungry can lead to eating/weight problems later.
2. Sick
Don't worry too much about what and how much he eats on sick days. The important thing is to keep him hydrated. Think Powerade in a sippy cup!
3. Tired/no appetite
If this is an unusual occurrence, see #2. If this is a regular occurrence, consider moving mealtime up or changing pre-meal activities.
4. Distracted
Meals should be eaten sitting down at a table--preferably with the family. He shouldn't be walking around eating his food. Avoid having your child eat in front of the TV or with the TV in the background. Limit table time and when the child is finished eating, take away his plate. Toddlers tend to get distracted at this age very easily. That's okay, don't sweat it.
5. Rebellious
Don't pressure your child to eat foods. Rather, offer them the food and then let it go. Meal time should be a pleasant time. Obviously you can't control his behavior but you can show him that you aren't going to force him to eat. Once he realizes this, hopefully he won't act up as frequently at the dinner table.
6. Doesn't Like It
Here's the big issue. He "doesn't like" it. I said this so many times as a kid without ever having even tasted the food I "didn't like." I like most of these foods today. Even foods that I did try and didn't like, I like today.
I'll repeat myself-- Don't pressure your child to eat foods. Rather, offer them the food and then let it go. Continue to offer rejected foods (not at the same meal but whenever they are a part of a meal)--it can take up to 20 "exposures" to a food before a person will realize they like it (Think Green Eggs and Ham)
Offer new foods or foods your child "doesn't like" at the beginning of the meal when they are the hungry and interested in eating. When you do offer new/unliked foods at a meal, make sure you offer it will foods you know your child will eat.
Be a good example of eating good foods. If there is a food you don't like, don't advertise it to your child.
Don't label your child as a picky eater--that will only lead to a self fulfilling prophecy.
7. Other
Leave a comment with the problem you would like me to address!
When you as the parent do your job in the Division of Responsibility, your child will do his. The child will learn that what you provide at a meal is what he gets. There may be days when he decides he does not like a thing that you have made for a meal (even if it is normally his favorite). If your child skips a meal because he doesn't like it, don't fret and don't make him something else. He will not willingly die from hunger! :) It is okay for your child to be hungry and it will reinforce that if he is hungry, he should eat/try the foods you have provided.
Good luck--I would love to hear your feedback!
P.S. refer to part 1 for references
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Hey Holly,
ReplyDeleteHow are you? I have a question that you might be able to help me out with. Cruz has what is called Toddler Diarrhea, I don't know if you have ever heard of it. But, what it basically is, is where your your toddler poops 3-6 times a day, but there is medically nothing wrong with him. One thing I read was that giving them a diet high in fat and low in carbs will help slow things down and allow the food to digest better. I feel stupid but what kind of food what that entail? I also read that toddlers should be eating about 30-40% of their diet being fat. Is that true and if so what "healthy" fat foods would I feed him to fulfill that 30-40%? If you want to email me, my email is tatem.marchant@gmail.com. I hope you might be able to give me some insight.
Thanks,
Tatem
I think these are great suggestions!
ReplyDeleteBut I have a question too...
My philosophy on children's eating habits has always been really low key. Really very similar to what you've posted here.
Well, in June of this year, Averi was diagnosed with hypoglycemia. I am as well, so I know what kinds of food to feed her, frequency of meals, symptoms, etc. The problem is, I can't get her to eat when she needs to. She's never had a great appetite, my pediatrician is continually worried about her weight -- generally below the 10th percentile, with her lowest being -3%.
On top of that, when her blood glucose levels start dropping she gets nauseated, and if they go low enough she throws up. So the times she really needs to be eating, she genuinely doesn't want to.
So I guess my question is, do you have any good tactics for how to 'force' a child to eat when you have to? There have been times that I literally have been forcing food into her mouth because she HAS to eat! But this causes all sorts of problems, and is definitely a last resort.
I could give her candy/juice to raise her blood glucose levels, but then she spikes and drops way low even faster without an accompanying meal which she still won't eat.
I'm still trying to figure out how to best manage this in my preschooler. I know what she needs, but I just can't figure out how to get her to cooperate. Any suggestions would be appreciated!
Thanks!
Hi Holly!
ReplyDeleteI too have a question, but first I want to thank you for the great information that you have posted. It really is helpful.
We are on the go a lot, so we eat while we are in the car, in the shopping cart, etc... I know that this is a bad habit, is there anything you would suggest to help my children (and me) be more aware of what we are eating instead of just snacking the whole time while we are out?
I would love to hear your thoughts!